Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Found your dick twin last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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