We need to rekindle our bromance
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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