Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
NoShamevember. You game?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
