so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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