What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
