His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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