Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
