what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
