apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
