There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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