haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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