just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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