Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what day is it and did you see me today?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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