I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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