around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
