I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
