I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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