Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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