just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
