Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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