You work out of a Hotel?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
