normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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