I seem to have left my pride at pride
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
