I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
