I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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