is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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