YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
