I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
