3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
