We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
