i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
