you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
