I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
