I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
