I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just gargled with NyQuil
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
