guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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