dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
