We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
