Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
