was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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