she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
