ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
