My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
