Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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