I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
