so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i've created a new STD.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
