that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there was a trapeze. enough said
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
