until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
