Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
