i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
