It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
