Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
