I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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