super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
